I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize