i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
