yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
