Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
