Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
no. you can't hotbox the world.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
