I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
