we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
