I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize