so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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