apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
