Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
