i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
NoShamevember. You game?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
