You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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