Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
vagina is talking i cant
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
