My brain says no but my pants say off.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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