Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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