Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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