I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
