I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
