Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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