I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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