what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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