I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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