my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
