I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
