i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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