Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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