you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize