Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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