So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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