yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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