we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
