Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
one might say we're banned from that church
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
