The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
