too bad you live with your parents still
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
