it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
