i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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