it was like eating out sand paper
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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