hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
