So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am mentally ready for anal.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
