Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
