she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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