I just threw up on my dentist
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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