It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
FUCK WHALES
Randomize