Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i think my cat just said my name.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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