I just pynch a tree in the face
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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