first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
