Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize