I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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