I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize