After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
