All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Nicole vs. Life
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
