So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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