Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
