If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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