Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
