Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
