And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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