Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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